He.

He will say good morning to you, ask you how you are and how your weekend went. He’ll make a joke about how tired you look and then he’ll imagine forcefully grabbing your tits.

I’m not the one. I’m too nice and too young and too emotional and lacking in the genital department.

He could talk you into bed in seconds and I haven’t been able to talk you into a pub after two years.

He’d treat you like shit and leave you hanging. I’d treat you like a goddess and message you three times in a row.

This next month I’ll probably be heartbroken. He’ll be smug and you’ll be wounded.

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Well that lasted long.

I reckon I’ll just be an occasional blogger now. I thought I’d get back into the swing of it more during unemployment but alas, I am lazy. And I use the internet for other things (mostly OITNB related…) and forget that I have a blog.
Hello blog.
I’ve now finished painting my room (hurray!) and I’m enjoying my new bed more than I should be. I’ve started having regular bed naps where before I would have a sofa nap. I am an ever changing woman.
Career wise my life is much the same: lots of looking and not a lot of finding. It’s a bit like playing hide and seek in the dark, in a mansion, with a person that gave up after 5 minutes and left the building. I’m searching for something that just isn’t out there. Yuck, that was horribly philosophical for 11:45 at night.
I want to get back to blogging. I love the structure of it and I enjoy getting feedback and hearing about everyone else’s lives but the motivation isn’t there.
I’ve got an idea for a couple of blogging avenues that I may pursue but they’re both quite personal and, although I’ve put personal content on here before, this may be the most personal project to date.
I’m still very much in love with my camera and use it at every opportunity I get (my cats are my main muses). I’ve moved away from landscapes now though and seem to have a fascination for buildings and people. This will, no doubt, change again soon.
This is a ramble post. I should have stopped writing by now.
I uncovered a lot of things while I tidied and re-decorated my room. One of those things was a list I compiled at the age of 12 detailing over 100 things I wanted to do before I died. I am proud (and ashamed) that I have been able to cross quite a few things off and I was amused by what goals I set myself. A friend suggested I write a new list of things I want to do before I’m 30. I worry that I’ll blink and I’ll be 30 and jobless, childless and wifeless. Those are probably the three main things I’d like to secure before turning 30.
I feel annoyed that I let my blogging slip (along with other things like my weight loss…) and I have a schedule all ready for me to start using again. And, before I forget, I have a fairly substantial amount of money I collected from doing my brief stint of “Skinny Wagg” that should be sent to the appropriate charity. (I need to check what charity that was again…)
I might try and revive this blog after all. I don’t think I’m quite finished with it yet.

Have you missed me?

The answer to that question is probably no and I don’t blame you. I expect some of you spent November desperately trying to finish (or start) NaNoWriMo and that those who didn’t were beginning their Christmas shopping and counting down the days until they finished work.

I would love to say I’ve been doing the same things but in reality I haven’t. NaNoWriMo came and went far too quickly and I only managed to write 11,000 words. Although, I’ve never written 11,000 words in such a short amount of time before so I guess that’s a plus. I have completed my Christmas shopping and I’ve now finished work for the Christmas holidays.

I’d love to say that I’ll get back into blogging over this festive period but I know it’s going to be a busy month; I honestly don’t know how I used to blog at least twice a week! That said, I would like to start again in January and, hopefully, start blogging every day or at least three times a week.

Recently, I’ve been back down the gym crying on the treadmill and doing a few hours overtime here and there to boost this month’s income.

I feel like I’ve forgotten how to blog so give me a few days to get back into the swing of it! I’ll probably start by posting some pictures of what I’ve been up to and I should have a Skinny Wagg video (which is LONG overdue) coming your way soon – assuming technology doesn’t fail me!

Back in October, I made a rota of things I wanted to blog about and so I know I have enough structure to blog for about a month as long as I put the effort into getting the contents of my brain onto this blog.

I hope you’ve all been well and that whatever you plan to do this festive season makes you smile. Here’s to a few more months of on and off blogging from me; the ever unreliable blogger that I am.

20 year old Wagg vs 14 year old Wagg.

Sometimes, I realise I am still 14 year old Wagg. I still can’t talk to girls and I still wonder why girls would ever want to talk to me. I still chuckle when I hear someone say “snog” and I still want to say “crush”: because that’s all it is – it’s not love it’s just some futile little attachment.

But most of all I know I’m still 14 year old Wagg because I know growing up terrifies me. In a few months I’ll be 21. Yup, 21. All around me people are doing degrees, moving out, having children and getting engaged. I still want to make cookies and play in the snow.

I want my life to move forward; I want to do all the things that other people are doing but it’s still ok for that to scare me, right?

I think the truth of it all is that everybody is scared: granted, not about the same things but there’s that underlying fear in every single one of us. Or, I’d like to imagine there is. However, I think most people are scared to admit that they’re scared.

But I’m not.

14 year old Wagg wouldn’t say it because she’s trying, desperately, to look effortlessly cool and calm but 20 year old Wagg doesn’t have to hide to behind that idealistic exterior. 20 year old Wagg is worryingly honest and laughingly uncool and not calm.

14 year old Wagg might have just dropped and smashed a glass because she was thinking about a girl but 20 year old Wagg is picking up the pieces of glass and saying “This day has been awful: I just keep dropping things”.

Whilst 20 year old Wagg wants to ignore her younger self little traits keep popping back up. And where I’d previously want to ignore them, I am now embracing them. 14 year old Wagg is the nervous kid who blushes and stutters and trips up in public. But now, 6 years later, 20 year old Wagg is picking her up and dragging her into the next stage of her life.

Novel novelty?

Imagine this: I’m in the bath, reading this month’s edition of “Diva” and I spot an article about “National Novel Writing Month”. I’ve heard a bit about it and I remember someone I know doing it last year.

The real question is this, will the novelty of writing a novel in a month wear off?

The target is 50,000 words in a month which is roughly 12,500 words a week, which then boils down to 1785 a day. Now I know some days I will write more than that (hopefully much more) and some days I will write less and some days I might not even write anything. The big issue is that it’s more than a posts worth of content in one day. If I can’t keep up with my blog how will I keep up with that?

I’ve got an idea of what I want to write about as well but do I have enough material/inspiration to write an entire novel?

Should I go for it?

Not so sober October.

This year, I vowed to do sober October with a friend from work. Last night me and said friend had a drink. Well I had more than one but that’s another story.

At about half one in the morning I decided that Ben and Jerry’s ice cream was needed and that it would go well with some cream. So, I had ice cream and cream. Dairy overload.

For a while, I felt sick and very dizzy but, once the cloud of cider began to drift, I used my awake time wisely and evaluated my life. Here is how I scored.

p>Diet – Currently: 2 out of 10, before 9pm yesterday: 8 out of 10. The diet is going pretty well and I’m starting to enjoy going to the gym. Yes, I do know what I just said and, yes, I did mean it.

Christmas present buying – 9 out of 10. I have out done myself this year. Not only are the majority of presents bought, they are also lying dormant in labelled bags for each person.

Love life – minus 12 out of 10. Basically non-existent and not looking hopeful. Apparently the fact that I can nearly lick my own elbow isn’t a key attribute women look for…

Overall life score – 5 out of 10? I’m striving in some areas and failing in others.

At least now I can comfort myself with alcohol. Goodbye sober October, you were naff.