Last night, I had a foreshadowing mindfuck dream.

In it, I confronted one of my biggest fears about one of my favourite people.

It was a mixture of painful truth and awful potential.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I think dreams are our way of safely exploring things that we cannot process while we are awake. And my theory has never been more prevalent than now.

I don’t struggle with difficult conversations but I struggle to figure out the emotion surrounding them. I can get how I feel out there but then I can’t handle what happens next.

My therapist has told me that sometimes when the fantasy becomes a reality a terrible realisation sets in. All of a sudden, you have what you want and, even if it’s exactly how you had imagined it would be, it’s a shock. 

I am in shock and last night I dealt with that in dream form and today I’m dealing with the idea that I might finally have the opportunity to be happy.

Happiness is scary.


Please Wagg, can we have some more?

Like hearing about my dreams? Well you’re in luck! Tomorrow (hopefully) I’ll be posting about a dream I had. Expect words like “the”, “dream” and “sleep”. Maybe even words like “woman”, “marriage” and “taxi”. Don’t say I don’t treat you. 😉

So I had a dream.

Yesterday I got half way through writing a post about dreams when I decided that it was rubbish. My dream was fragmented at best and didn’t really make any sense so I scrapped the post all together.

Last night I had a proper dream.

I was at an all girls boarding school with my friends and I had just found out that some of my friend’s boyfriends were cheating. This lead to a big confrontation in the changing rooms; accompanied by lots of slapping and crying. It was very realistic.

Then it transpired that I was getting friends of mine, from outside the school, to ship tvs and dvds to me via the nearby country roads.

Next thing I know I’m graduating from uni and watching a film about two women who had recently got married and bought a large country house.

I don’t know what this dream means. There were flickers of reality in my dream and the odd part of my dream played out how I would of liked it to had I been in that situation in everyday life. But normally there is some sort of climax or meaning to my dreams and I’m wondering if I’ve skipped the one in this…