My therapist asked me what I could offer to my friends. I felt targeted. I felt like it was a leading question.
I began to say how I shared the same sense of humour with my friends and that we had been through a lot together. She told me that she wasn’t looking for an answer like that.
I felt angry.
She explained that friendships are either one person depending on another or two people running parallel lives to each other. She hinted that I had a lot of friendships where I relied on people but I said that the opposite was true.
She then went on to ask me what I had to offer my friends if we did lead parallel lives. We no longer lived in each other’s pockets because of school and we had less in common because of our respective careers.
I froze. I had nothing to offer.
Then I cried.
She changed the subject but I thought about it by myself for the next week.
One day, it hit me. I had me to offer.
I am unique and that alone is a lot to bring to a friendship.
I may not be able to talk to my friends in depth about their jobs and their relationships and their experiences but that doesn’t mean that I don’t offer them anything.
I think my therapist did that deliberately; she wanted me to realise that I am enough.
I am enough.