Therapy is one of the most difficult and yet rewarding things that I’ve ever done.
I feel so relieved after a session and desperately fearful at the same time.
I’m fearful because my anger is rooted in something so deep that it’s a massive can of worms. I feel like a pressure cooker would be more accurate but…
I’m fearful because I know I’ll feel worse before I feel better. I mean that makes sense because I’ll have to deal with difficult things in order to eventually feel better but it’s a daunting thought.
I’m fearful because I think I’ll change. People tell me change is good but I think change is scary.
I know that I try and make people happy to my own detriment but I don’t want that to change. That, and so many other things, are essential parts of me. Everyone is flawed. I don’t want to be less flawed than everyone; I just don’t want my flaws to make me want to take my life.
Therapy is good. Therapy makes me fearful. Therapy is flawed.