Therapy.

Therapy is one of the most difficult and yet rewarding things that I’ve ever done.

I feel so relieved after a session and desperately fearful at the same time. 

I’m fearful because my anger is rooted in something so deep that it’s a massive can of worms. I feel like a pressure cooker would be more accurate but…

I’m fearful because I know I’ll feel worse before I feel better. I mean that makes sense because I’ll have to deal with difficult things in order to eventually feel better but it’s a daunting thought.

I’m fearful because I think I’ll change. People tell me change is good but I think change is scary.

I know that I try and make people happy to my own detriment but I don’t want that to change. That, and so many other things, are essential parts of me. Everyone is flawed. I don’t want to be less flawed than everyone; I just don’t want my flaws to make me want to take my life.

Therapy is good. Therapy makes me fearful. Therapy is flawed.

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2 thoughts on “Therapy.

  1. Therapy is not flawed, and neither are you. You are not going to change, and don’t listen to anybody who tells you that change is good. Change is always extremely stressful, even when it’s a great change, such as getting married to someone you love or getting a job of your dreams. All that therapy will do for you is help you balance things out within yourself. If you move things around in your kitchen, they are still there, but arranged in a more convenient way. That’s what therapy will do for you. It does take an effort to move things around, and it’s hard, but the results are good. Brace yourself and make the effort! You are not going to lose your personalty, if that’s what scares you. You will still be you!

  2. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
    Letting go of the anger and emotion is scary.

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