Autocorrect knows my secrets.

So I’m halfway through a text to my friend and my fingers go to type something innocent like veg but my phone has other ideas and BAM I’ve sent a text asking what kind of “vag” she likes. The horror. The shame.
Sneaky little autocorrect making me look sleazy.
Don’t get me wrong, I love autocorrect; it’s ridiculously helpful. Whether I’m online shopping and it fills my details in for me or I’m sending a general text and it can predict what I’m saying – it’s useful, even I cant deny that.
But why does it feel the need to make me sound crude all the time?
I recently sent a text to somebody saying that a certain celebrity made me melt but autocorrect wasn’t content with melt and changed it to “wet”. Mortified.
And then there’s the random words it suggests, they baffle me the most. My phone assumed that when I went to text “getting” what I really wanted was “fettling”: a word I didn’t even know the definition of, let alone use frequently.
But by far the biggest sin of the autocorrect on my phone was that it didn’t accept the word “casserole”. It does now, trust me.
The more I use my phone the more it starts to recognise what I’m saying and the more it predicts what I’d like to say and whilst I moan about autocorrect it does take one for the team when I’m drunk and I desperately want to sound sober. Unfortunately, my drunk texting habits means that it’s started recognising my drunk utterances as actual words so it no longer blinks an eyelid when I type “yui” instead of you and “life gnome” when I mean lift home…
I appreciate that it’s ok with the nicknames of my friends and the various abbreviations and made up words I use on a daily basis but I feel there’s room for improvement. At least, my friend’s reaction to the “vag” question suggests me and autocorrect aren’t best friends right now.

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9 thoughts on “Autocorrect knows my secrets.

  1. gregadamyork says:

    On the other hand, the great benefit of autocorrect is that it gives you license to say whatever you want:

    “I want to lick your nipples”
    “OMG damn autocorrect!”

  2. Nil says:

    😀
    I turned it off on my tablet… You should try to type a text in Dutch when the tablet is set to work in English (or the other way around…) A whole new language appears! 😛

  3. Nil says:

    But not the people receiving the message… 😛

  4. Jodie M Smith says:

    It’s annoying but hilarious at the same time, My Auto correct likes to correct see you later to sleep with you later, not so bad if its your friend, but when it sends to your college tutor….

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