Every so often I hear something that I have to really think about. It’s normally when someone uses multiple negations or when someone speaks fast. It’s rarely when someone says something that I find shocking.
But, today, I am faced with something that I find shocking.
As a woman (and yes, I am generalising) I tend to overthink a lot and go back through every single relevant memory I have and question every single thing a person has said to me. Just to make things clear: this is not a healthy thing to do.
But I do it. I have to.
The only problem is that it doesn’t bring me any comfort. There are questions in life that will always be unanswerable and people that will be hard to understand. And sometimes even talking to those people and trying to figure out what they’re thinking is impossible but it’s even more impossible when that person simple isn’t there.
Sometimes I feel like I am fighting a two sided battle by myself. I feel like I am on both teams; my own team and the other team. I am trying to stand my ground on my own team and make decisions that will benefit me but then I am also on the other team; making excuses for the other person.
Atticus Finch from “To Kill a Mockingbird” said “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
In many ways it is so true; how can you possibly understand another person’s thought process until you see the world through their eyes? But it is also pointless, as you can never completely see things the way they do.
So today I am making a choice and I’ve decided that I will be solely on my team. As someone once said to me “sometimes just you being on your own team is enough”. Never before has something been so ironic yet oh so true.