I would give you all a rough overview of the programme but there’s not much I can say really so, instead, I’ll introduce you to a few key characters.

There’s the main man (we’ll call him MM) he’s more than a bit sexist and he works for the council. Then there’s his daughter Susan (we’ll call her Susan) and her girlfriend Victoria (who we’ll call Victoria). There are loads more characters but they don’t really feature so…

Susan is a plumber by trade (hello first lesbian stereotype, nice to meet you!) and her girlfriend, Victoria, is an out of work DJ.

In the first episode MM is complaining to Susan that Victoria spends too long in the bathroom. He says “… then you dropped your lifestyle bombshell. I mean really Susan, what is the point of being a lesbian if you continue to act like a normal woman?”

Ouch. I complained to the BBC about this. And yes, I’m being serious. (I also complained to them because they don’t air the women’s rugby on the TV. They must be chuffed every time they get another arsey, feminist email from me!)

I didn’t like the fact that her being gay was a bombshell (just because she’s femme, doesn’t mean she can’t like women!), that he said it was a lifestyle and the fact that he said she acted like “a normal woman” because, as we should all know by now, all lesbians obviously do not shave, wash or go to the toilet; hence they shouldn’t need to go in the bathroom at all. Hmmm.

We see Susan and Victoria occasionally over the next few episodes but, to me, their relationship seems to be more like friends. There’s no affection; physically or verbally. No, I’m not asking for a full on lesbian sex scene but a cuddle here and there wouldn’t go amiss!

In episode four we finally see some actual human loving interaction between Susan and Victoria. Susan and Victoria are practising for a ballroom dancing competition and, SHOCK HORROR, they’re touching each other while they dance! And when I say touching I mean one hand on the shoulder, one hand on the waist kind of touching. It’s minimal but it’s there!

Victoria says (in relation to the dancing) “I’m seeing it as a totally good rehearsal for our bridal dance if we ever get married.”

Susan replies with “We’ve been together nearly a year now you know.”

Yay, the second lesbian stereotype has arrived! The lesbian urge to merge! (Also referred to as the lesbian U-Haul.) It’s a well-known law that all lesbians must be married or cohabitating by the 1 year marker; otherwise they’re not a true lesbian couple.

Despite his early negative comments towards Susan and Victoria’s “lifestyle”, MM does seem to be quite accepting and certainly cares about his daughter and her girlfriend.

In episode 5 Susan puts her arm around Victoria. It’s a half cuddle. I almost cried with excitement.

MM tells Susan that “she’ll always work” and Susan replies “Not if we ever have kids.” (She means her and Victoria, not her and her dad by the way.)

MM then says “Perfectly possible these days.” Before Victoria joins in the discussion with “Best pub game ever; choose your dream donor.”

I laughed. I hate to admit it but I laughed. I actually found it amusing.

In the lounge Victoria tells Susan that she’s worried about something: “I took an embarrassing selfie. An embarrassing rudey selfie. Well my fanwar… It’s out there! I tried to send it you, Sue, and I accidentally sent it to my ex.”

Cue a conversation about Facebook and poking and fanwars and other stuff… She tops off this conversation “I have a viral fanwar!”

I know this story is far-fetched, slightly immature and more than a bit tedious but I laughed. Again. That’s twice now!

In the 6th, and final, episode Susan comes downstairs wearing the dress that she’ll dance in at the ballroom competition. Victoria looks impressed and Susan perches next to her on the sofa and wraps her arms around Victoria, who rubs Susan’s hand. Ah, some proper affection.

There’s no mention of love, no full hugs and no kissing; but I’m still tempted to buy the series on dvd. I can’t stand MM’s character or most of the other characters for that matter but I liked Susan ad Victoria. No, I don’t think they portrayed a realistic lesbian couple but, yes they made me laugh and yes, I can see potential in them. Potential. I sound like I’m trying to recruit lesbians…

I’d rate the overall programme to be very poor but Susan and Victoria’s contributions to be mediocre, maybe even good. I’ll let you off this time, BBC.


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