A letter to somebody I know from afar.

I’d like to tell you that it’ll all be ok but I can’t. You know it’s not true and I don’t want to lie to you; you deserve more than that.

Some people believe that white lies are helpful; they can protect people from the harsh truth. I think, to a degree, that’s accurate. Some difficult things in life are “character building” and I believe all things happen for a reason. For what reason though, I cannot tell you.

You are well meaning and honest but an aspect of that scares me.

Do you know what is ahead of you? Are you quietly confident? Or is it a front because you know the truth is hard to handle and you’d rather plough through than face up to it?

I say face up to it.

Don’t hide behind excuses and third person narratives that allow you to live vicariously. It won’t help you.

An unpopular opinion is still a worthy opinion and I thought, out of everyone, that you’d know that.

You will meet people that will understand you instantly and people who you will know for years who will not understand a single part of your identity. I used to think that without common ground life was meaningless. How can you express how you feel and share experiences if both of you do not understand what the other is saying in its full capacity? Now I understand that only understanding the notion or the thought behind something is enough. For example, you know how a sneeze feels, right? I can’t explain it but you know how it feels.

The past will be hard to look back on but you have to do it. It is what made you who you are now and without it you’d only be a fraction of the person you’ll be in ten years’ time.

If you ever doubt any of what I’ve said then think about what your life was like ten years ago and tell me it hasn’t got better. Except you won’t be able to tell me that because it has got better and it always will.


Song of the week: week 5.

I couldn’t decide on just one song this week so I’ve picked two by the same band.

I was recently sorting out my documents and I found a list of songs I used to like. In that list were the songs “Shake it” and “Seventeen forever” by Metro Station.

I was immediately taken back to being 17 (strangely) and listening to that song and Shake it has always been a firm, if forgotten, favourite.

They’re upbeat and ever so slightly cheesy – how could things get any better?

The “p” bomb.

This is similar to the “f” bomb in that its effect on some people is pretty drastic. And no, I’m not talking about periods either.

Today someone at work asked me if I had a partner.

Now, I’m pleased that she took an interest but she could just ask if I had a girlfriend.

There’s lots of controversy in the LGBTQ community about what to call the people you’re with and I can see why.

I’ve always sided with “girlfriend” as partner is pretty ambiguous and has connotations, for me at least, of someone in a more formal sort of position. Others take a more comical approach and refer to them as their “better half” or “Mrs.”.

What concerns me even more is the pause and hesitation before asking about my “… erm… partner”. I don’t mind talking about it and so it phases me when people find it so hard broaching the subject with me. I just don’t understand what all the fuss is about.

Basically, I felt a bit awkward earlier and thought I’d share it with you all. Do you say partner and prefer it to other words? Let me know! 🙂

Song of the week: week 4 (ish).

This week I’m going old school with Eminem’s “When I’m gone”.

When it was released in 2005 it reached number 4 in the UK charts and an impressive number 1 in the Australian charts.

I’ve always been a secret Eminem fan and I’ve recently started re-listening to him.

What I love about this song is the positive message and the catchy chorus. A winner in my opinion! 🙂


I was recommended this film by a fellow WordPress user and I’ve finally got round to watching it.

It’s made by the well-known and established TLA who have released such films as “Boy Culture”.

First we see a woman who we’ll call A. A’s boyfriend (B) moves to New York to live with her. We also see another woman (C) and her boyfriend (D) who live with a lesbian (E).

They all meet one night at a bar called “The Four Faced Liar” and get chatting. It transpires that A and D already know each other from an English course.

(I’m using letters, by the way, because I can’t remember their names…)

I thought the beginning was a little slow and that the main chunk of the film lacked depth but I enjoyed the build-up.

We see A and E getting closer. A is into her boyfriend and enjoying having him around while E is dauntingly similar to Shane from The L Word (a bit laddish and sleeps around a lot but, ultimately, extremely lovable!).

Then there is a split scene thing which confuses me and, long story short, the couples break up. This, you would think, would lead to the natural formation of A and E as a couple; but no.

Yes, they’ve been sleeping together and, yes, they continue to but we leave them in the final scene lying on a bed maybe questioning their future. It wasn’t the happy ending I was expecting, granted, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I love films that show character development gradually and manage to culminate lots of different storylines into one. Whilst there were confusing elements (which were probably down to my own stupidity than a badly portrayed storyline) I can say that it is one of my favourite lesbian films to date and will continue to be. Great recommendation!