I’m not a celebrity get me outside!

This isn’t actually a blog about I’m a celeb (although I have a lot to say about it, so I might do a blog on it). It’s about how I haven’t really been out and about much. I mean I’ve been outside; I even cycled to work today (oh yes, this time I’m being serious about my weight loss!). But I’m not spending as much time outside taking photos as I did a month or two again. Is this because the novelty of the camera has worn off? No I don’t think so, I still have a lot to learn when it comes to taking photos and I love finding out what my camera can do. Is it because of the weather? Yes, probably.

So here’s my question to you. What should I do to get inspired? Go somewhere different? Pick a theme and photograph it or go for a walk and take my camera along? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! 🙂

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Diet, diet go away come again another day.

I’ve re-started my diet today and this time I’ll stick to it. I think.

I am an evening snacker without a doubt; packet of crisps, bowl of ice cream, handful of nuts. I just get hungry in the evening.

I think part of this is because I come home from work and I feel hungry. And if the food is there why not eat it?

Up until today my eating habits would be a mid morning snack, big lunch, afternoon snack, big supper, evening snack.

Now everything will have to be smaller and more frequent. Breakfast will be a must and I can wave goodbye to my suppers at work. It will now be salads, plenty of water and… the gym.

I said it. Gym.

I’m going back tomorrow to face up to that skinny woman who, no doubt, will have got much skinnier and will now be just a skeleton pumping away on the treadmill.

Last time I lost weight I was enthusiastic about it but this time it’a just another thing I have to think about. What’s the fat content of this? How much can I have of this? If we go out somewhere what can I eat?

I’m not a salad person! I’m the sort of girl who will have a starter, main, side and dessert. Do it properly or don’t do it at all as far as I’m concerned.

Tomorrow I will have to wake up and pour myself some cereal and force it down my throat. I’m not a morning eater, I always feel a bit sick and I’m not ready to eat.

I know this sounds trivial to a lot of people but I genuinely find it hard to lose weight and keep it off and I’m worried that the same thing will happen. But hey, I won’t know till I do it so it’s about time I stopped whining and found out.

I got married. (In my dream)

Yes, a few nights ago I had a dream where I got married. I’ve had similar dreams but something was distinctly different about this one.

For starters, I wasn’t marrying a woman who I knew and had been lusting after in the waking away for years. The woman I married was one that I have never met before and, to be frank, wasn’t really my type of woman. She was bigger and bolder than what I normally go for and looking back on it I struggle to see how there was any chemistry.

But there was.

We had an American themed wedding, as she was American; complete with taxis ferrying us to and from the venue and a huge buffet laid on with traditional English favourites and American luxuries.

We had our reception at a lovely manor house with acres of land and a permanent source of sun. I’d guess it was summer because all of our guests (who I remember interacting with quite clearly) were dressed in short dresses and casual shirts. There weren’t any massive fleecy jumpers and wooly scarves.

We then traveled to our evening party in a lovely yellow taxi.

She looked stunning in her blue dress and I was suitably suited and booted in a matching blue outfit.

The taxi journey to our party was the bit that stood out the most to me. I kissed her on the side of the head and we sat and grinned, taking our day in.

Once awake, it finally occurred to me that maybe I should broaden my horizons and stop looking for the same type of women in the same type of places. Maybe I’m missing out on someone because I’ve narrowed my search down so much.

As I’ve said before, I believe dreams are there to give you an indication on what you should be doing or thinking about when you’re awake and I think this was a subtle way for my brain to say “Hey, get out there a bit more and who knows you could be getting married in a few years…”

I’ve always enjoyed the thought that one day I’ll get married to the woman of my dreams and now that seems even more prominent.

I want the love they’ve got.

Recently, me and my boy (not my boyfriend, let’s be clear. And not my son either, I had a rather troubling dream last night about looking after a child so I’m clearly not fit for motherhood.) went to see The Killers at the 02 Arena. Well we went to see Tegan and Sara but it was mainly a Killers gig so…

Anyway.

A little while after we got there a woman turned up and sat a space down from me. We had a brief chat and then she started to read her book. I instantly thought how cute this was; she had come to a gig by herself and was now reading.

I would say she was in her 30s with long brown hair. She looked nerdy but in a really sweet way not in a showing off kind of way.

About half an hour later a man appeared and she screamed his name and flung her arms around him. He kissed her on the cheek and they sat down and started chatting.

Me and my friend came to the conclusion that they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other for a while because of the way that she seemed so thrilled to see him.

However, I overheard the fact that they were married and noticed them holding hands. I was surprised to say the least as I had originally thought that they were just friends.

When The Killers really got going they stood up and waved their arms around and danced like they were the only people in the room. I admired that because nearly everyone else was dancing in the same way; leg jolting, hands punching in the air. But they were swaying and turning at the hips as if it was their own private concert in their living room.

Then the sweetest thing happened.

The man sat down, clearly shattered from his rave, and watched his wife as she danced. She couldn’t see this but he was just smiling, grinning even and you could tell he was so proud and just thinking “That’s my wife.”

So why have I told you this? Well for a multitude of reasons really. The first is because it’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I feared that I might have been forgotten a bit and I feel like I’ve abandoned you. Secondly because that’s what I want out of life. That is how I want to be. I want to be so comfortable with someone so I can thrash my arms around and sing out of tune and shake my head and look like a complete idiot and know that someone, somewhere is proud that I’m their wife. I want to have a relationship where I am excited to see my partner and where the love is obvious. Not in your face, overly affectionate kind of obvious but “wow those two are made for each other” kind of obvious. I want that so badly. I want the love they’ve got.