I’ll make this quick.
Every year I make the same lame jokes about how, because he’s dead, I don’t have to get him a present. And every year I completely ignore father’s day and most of the world and just pretend that nothing’s happening. But this year I can’t seem to.
I’ve reached a point in my life where I’d like some direction. Not from a careers advisor or a friend or a website: I want a dad’s advice. I want a jokey, half mumbled speech about doing what makes me happy whilst earning some money. I want bad dad jokes in the car, angry texts when I’m not back and it’s late, someone to tell me that I don’t drive my car properly. Because I don’t, and I need to hear that.
I guess I’m jealous of what other people have and this year, more than any other year, I want it. I want a dad.
Yes, I’ve got a dad: technically. He just isn’t here. But that’s the tricky part of it.
I’m not even sure what I’m getting to. Basically, this year I’ll be doing less head in the sand stuff and more appreciating what I do have: because it’s only once it’s gone that you realise how much you needed it.