The title says it all really.
I feel a bit down today. The weather is beautiful, I’ve got the day off work and I’m catching up with a few of my work friends tonight but I still feel weird.
I just tried to record a video and I feel like I’m already losing the enthusiasm. I mean I knew what I was getting into when I started this but I didn’t think about how difficult it would be.
Because most of my stand up revolves around stuff that’s happened to me I find myself having to delve back into awkward and sometimes painful memories from my past and work them into a funny story. Yes, it’s my choice to do that but I think I underestimated some of the issues surrounding that.
So I put on a few depressing songs and thought I’d vent a bit on here.
I guess my confidence has just taken a bit of a knock and I’m not used to that. I’m especially not used to that when the person who has knocked me is myself. I’m quite good at ignoring other people’s opinions on me but sometimes I can be my own worst enemy.
I’ve found that I’m good at offering other people advice at times like this but not taking it myself. This is partly because I am stupidly stubborn.
But hey ho. Life goes on.